I published the 38th Issue of my newsletter Grass Clippings last week - click HERE in case you missed it. I love to write, and my newsletter is all about bridal - and rightly so.
But my favorite type of writing is “freelance”… where I can choose any topic I like. My ideas always come from a random thought, and I had a resent conversation with my personal trainer Theresa (she’s most definitely part of my “stable”) which got my creative juices flowing. You may be asking yourself: “What could Howard possibly be referring to when he uses the word “stable?”” - so here goes.
An alternate definition of the noun “stable” (to the building where horses are kept) is “a group of people all managed by the same individual or agent”… and it is this use of the word that I refer to. I know a decent amount about a lot of things, but there are areas of my life which I have little or no knowledge of. These areas however are very important to me, and I refuse to live in a world where I am completely ignorant of them. I therefore have assembled a group of “experts” in these fields who I rely on for their advice and guidance, as the need arises. My “stable” includes (but are not limited to) an accountant, a lawyer, a car mechanic, several doctors, a barber, and a small group of dear friends. (“A barber” you say - read on.)
One of the most important traits I value in anyone is loyalty. My stablemates are extremely loyal, and I trust them implicitly. As an example, I NEVER get a 2nd opinion on needed car repairs from my auto mechanic. And I know NOTHING about cars, although German cars are one of my passions. I never buy a new car without consulting him first, and I do all of the repairs and service he recommends - without question. When my kids call me for car advice, I call Bill D’amico for them. I do take good care of him, send him customers, and I never question his bill. In return, he squeezes me in whenever I need quick service, and I have never had a serious car malfunction/breakdown - to which he deserves full credit (or maybe I am just a little lucky with cars!) I have used the same accountant and lawyer for over 45 years, and have no idea what I am going to do when they retire.
My barber Clem is a perfect example of the ultimate stablemate. I have had only one person cut my hair since I was 17 years old. 10 years ago when I was very sick, I received an unexpected phone call from Clem. “Howard” he began, “are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in over 3 months and it’s not like you.” Now it’s one thing for a barber (who is also a businessman) to check on a customer whom he hasn’t heard from in a while. But’s it’s what he said next that qualifies him for lifetime membership in my stable. “Since you can’t travel… how about I come out to your house tomorrow and cut your hair for you - I’m sure it needs it.” Which is exactly what he did! Clem is a lifelong friend and we are both kind of each other’s psychiatrists. I always feel better from our 30 minute talks when I am leaving his studio.
Doctors are its own category unto itself… and I could write a whole blog on my medical stable. But I’ll limit it to a few. My urologist has literally saved my life at least 2 times, and has come through for me when I needed her several more times. In 2011, she diagnosed me with a very rare condition called “Male Pelvic Pain Syndrome”… after 3 or 4 “experts” offered me no direction. She also performed a successful Nephrectomy on me 7 years ago, and I have been cancer free ever since. And the above mentioned Theresa is “My Angel”. She helped “cure”me of the aforementioned syndrome 10 years ago, and has been my Physical Therapist ever since. She doubles as a Personal Trainer and a “Life Coach”, and is a dear friend and a critical part of my healthcare team. And I could go on and on about my other doctors.
And my wife Carol is the most important stablemate of all. I would be lost without her and she takes VERY good care of me.
That brings me to friends. I don’t like to refer to people as “best friends.” I have a couple of very close friends - they will be reading this, know who they are, and don’t need the “public recognition.” Most people have way fewer close friends than they think they do. Having people in your life that are important to you is a crucial part of the life experience, but you don’t need 20 besties to be happy. One could argue that the more friends you have, the more opportunities you have to be disappointed; but that would be my cynical side emerging… and I prefer to keep “him” in the background.
I did however title this blog “My 2-Way Stable”, so what about the “2-Way?” I would like to think that I am a member of a few stables, as well as managing my own. I would hope that I am a member of my family’s stables; I try to be a good father, husband, brother, and PopPop. I imagine I am a member of my friends’ stables as well. I try to be available to them when they need me, and hope that they know that I would do ANYTHING for them without hesitation. And I strive to be a good business partner to my stores - rather than just a salesman. People have always looked to me for advice; I’m really not sure why or when it all started. I’ve been in the Bridal Industry for over 30 years now, and have made some great “friends” along the way. Occasionally they will call on me for advice ranging from how to handle an irate customer, are considering an expansion (or contraction), or maybe even how to handle an issue with another company (or even another salesman.) I am NOT however a “yes-man”, so be careful what you ask for. I rarely offer unsolicited advice; but if you ask me what I think I will tell you openly, honestly, and respectfully. I’d like to think I am respected in my industry but that’s for others to comment on. What I will say is that I always try to do the right thing, and feel that a little more love, a little less judgement, and a positive attitude will go a long way towards making this world a better place.
So to all my stablemates out there: Thank you! I couldn’t have made it this far without you… and hope you feel the same.
Peace and Love,
H
Ps. On the day of this post, we proudly welcomed grandchild #7 to our growing family. Sam Dean Grass was born at 7PM on October 11, 2022, and we are delighted to say that baby and Momma are doing great. I hope to meet him today. The Grass Family is truly blessed! HG
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